This was an extremely difficult book for me to write as many of you can imagine. In order to make the reader understand how I felt at a certain age or a certain time, I had to relive experiences that I never wanted to remember again. Many times, I would write a few pages or an entire chapter and then not come back to writing it again for 2 to 3 weeks at a time.

I debated a long time on how much to include in the book. If I were to write about every horrific experience that I had growing up - it would have turned into a 500 page book. I do feel that the experiences I wrote about in the book were the ones that really affected me long term and were ones I wasn't willing to forget about over time. It is because of these incidents that I still struggle with an eating disorder, why I still can't look people in the eyes when I talk to them and why I have such a hard time trusting people. While there were other incidents that would have made my readers cringe and cry (like Mom making me brush my teeth with Comet) - as an abused child - incidents like that were so normal that it all seemed to run together and I couldn't remember how old I was when certain events happened or what house we lived in. I do know that when I talk about my abuse, the incidents I wrote about are the ones I can't let go of and that I remember as if they all happened yesterday.

However, I found that with each word, sentence, paragraph and chapter I completed, it helped me come to terms with the abuse I endured. Actually reading what I went through myself helped me to realize that I really was the victim in the entire situation and that I wasted so many years feeling guilty for something I was not responsible for. If anyone can take anything away from this book - it is my hope that it is inspiration - inspiration for others to share their stories and hopefully get some peace in their lives. After every beating my mother gave me - it was so important to me to find something positive to cling on to - something to convince me to wake up the next morning. It may sound cheesy and silly to some, but that's how I got through it - day after day.
I pray for all of you suffering and I love you all