Publishers Weekly
01/08/2024
A teenage girl “want to scream.... A battle cry loud enough to shatter the glass above her and obliterate what tries to contain her,” according to this shortsighted debut guide to learning from and connecting with teen daughters. Academic tutor Goodan contends that teen girls are frequently silenced by society, and parents would do well to ask nonjudgmental questions (“How can I support you in this?”) that make space for emotions without trying to “solve” the issue at hand, thus allowing their daughters’ natural problem-solving skills to emerge. Unfortunately, Goodan undermines that helpful advice with some selective interpretations (selfies almost exclusively help girls empower themselves, she suggests, without adequately unpacking how posting such images in search of “likes” can create a harmful validation loop). In addition, parents will struggle to apply such vague lessons as “rather than working to prevent and judge teenage girls’ sexual choices, let’s work to create a world that thoroughly educates everyone on sexual responsibility and pleasure.” Despite the author’s good intentions, this stumbles. Agent: Karen Murgolo, Aevitas Creative Management. (Mar.)
From the Publisher
Praise for UNDERESTIMATED:
“I’ve personally witnessed how Chelsey changes the lives of teenage girls for the better by deepening connections and helping everyone feel more heard and understood. With passion and enthusiasm, Chelsey empowers girls to discover their voices in both the most practical and deepest of ways. This book is exactly what we all need right now, for our families and for our future voices in the world.”
- Laura Dern, Academy Award-winning actress and New York Times bestselling author of Honey, Baby, Mine
“To create a world that welcomes girls’ and women’s powerful voices and fosters their agency, we need this book. UNDERESTIMATED masterfully teaches us how to empower teenage girls by simplifying solutions to challenging topics like self-doubt, shame, the beauty myth, and power, offering effective tools for parents, educators, and trusted adults in girls' lives.”
- Jennifer Siebel Newsom, filmmaker and founder of The Representation Project
“Sometimes we wish our children came with an operating manual. Fortunately, that operating manual now exists. If you are a parent, caregiver, or educator who cares in any way about understanding this crucial period in a teenager’s development, in a way that supports thriving rather than walling off, UNDERESTIMATED is essential reading. The powerful wisdom will help you not just as a parent, but in every relationship.”
- Neil Strauss, #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Truth: An Uncomfortable Book About Relationships
“Chelsey is a godsend. This book is a godsend. In UNDERESTIMATED, Chelsey gives us all the tools needed to have the difficult and much needed conversations with our teenagers. Or any teenagers. I’ve seen her work firsthand and trust me, WE ALL NEED THESE TOOLS. Badly. She brings sensitivity to her work and a ‘just removed enough’ perspective that is impossible for parents to have from close up.”
- Jenni Konner, writer, director, and executive producer of HBO’s Girls
“Chelsey expertly reveals the power of teenage girls. She welcomes us into their minds with curiosity and fun, rather than fear. Underestimated gives insight into ways to create a fairer and more empowering world where girls and women can thrive.”
- Eve Rodsky, New York Times bestselling author of Fair Play and Find Your Unicorn Space
“What makes this book stand out is the way Goodan allows girls to share their truths openly and without judgment... empower[ing] young women by showing readers what they have to teach adults about the power of (inter)personal authenticity.”
- Kirkus Reviews
“Underestimated provides a critical blueprint for the kinds of conversations that parents and their children are afraid to have, but deeply need. It’s an accessible yet poignant exploration of how parents and teenage girls can grow together rather than further apart. And I can’t think of someone more equipped to help us understand and uplift teenage girls than Chelsey Goodan.”
- Liz Plank, award-winning journalist and author of For the Love of Men: From Toxic to a More Mindful Masculinity
“THIS is the book I wish I (and my parents!) had when I was growing up. Filled with clear, compassionate guidance that debunks the myths around adolescent girls as 'mean,' UNDERESTIMATED gives us the tools to support, embrace, and even learn from our teenage girls, who have so much more wisdom than we may realize.”
- Sarah Jones, Tony Award-winning writer, actor, and filmmaker
“Reading this book made me feel as though I had stumbled upon a pot of gold. Suddenly I had a better understanding of my own often misunderstood mind, and as my daughter grows, I'm hoping I can apply the same compassion and understanding that Chelsey teaches. UNDERESTIMATED is a must read for anyone who has a daughter, is a daughter, or knows a daughter.”
- Becky Lynch, WWE champion wrestler
"A wise, well-articulated handbook to help adults listen to and hold space for teens... practical wisdom that belongs in the toolbox of every teenager."
- Booklist
Kirkus Reviews
2023-11-04
An activist offers a view of modern life through one of the most dismissed of all social groups: teenage girls.
Despite a variety of stereotypes about teenage girls, they are “a wildly underestimated force for good in the world,” writes Goodan, mentorship director of DemocraShe and founder of the Activist Cartel. Informed by a decade and a half of experience working with young women of different races, sexual orientations, and socioeconomic backgrounds, Goodan probes key issues, both internal and external, that girls struggle with on their journey to adulthood. The stormy adolescent feelings that can make girls appear emotionally “lawless” top the list. They cause well-meaning adults to take an “advise and fix” approach to girls’ problems, but the author proposes a far more effective idea: create a validating, nonjudgmental space in which girls can express their emotions. The need to speak honestly about themselves and their lives can also present problems to young women. In Goodan’s experience, teens such as 16-year-old Lori believe that “adults…cover the truth because they think [girls] can’t handle it.” What truth actually does offer is permission to successfully express selfhood. The pressure to be beautiful according to Eurocentric, heteronormative standards is also a source of profound female angst, causing girls to constantly question their value and social worth and fall victim to dangerous disorders such as anorexia and bulimia. When older women model attitudes of self-acceptance, however, girls like 15-year-old Rosy are able to articulate important truths: “[B]eauty is…transparency within yourself, not hiding, being real.” What makes this book stand out is the way Goodan allows girls to share their truths openly and without judgment. In this way, the author empowers young women by showing readers what they have to teach adults about the power of (inter)personal authenticity.
A heartfelt and humane sociological report.
