Publishers Weekly
01/08/2024
Via a strong, captivating voice, Kuehnert spins a kaleidoscopic tale of girlhood, starting when she moves to Oak Park, Ill., at age eight and leading up to her preoccupation with the 1990s riot grrrl movement and beyond. Her tumultuous and traumatic first relationship anchors the narrative, and vignettes depicting this abusive period, instances of self-harm, substance reliance, and depression juxtapose humorous stories of attempting to summon George Washington via Ouija board, falling in love with Nirvana, calling people’s pagers, and reading Francesca Lia Block’s Weetzie Bat. Through oscillating streams of consciousness and journal-esque recounting of events, Kuehnert crafts an arc of her formative years, replete with a curation of comics, diary entries, mixtape lists, photographs, teen poetry, and zine pages in a compulsively readable mixed-media collage of grungy aesthetics and 90s paraphernalia. The result is a memoir with sharp teeth and a soft underbelly, the product mirroring the author’s catharsis in creating art: “As broken and aching as I may have felt inside while I wrote and cut and pasted and photocopied and assembled, the sliver of a belief surfaced that I had the power to make myself whole again.” Ages 14–up. (Mar.) ■
From the Publisher
★ "Harrowing but ultimately triumphant."—Booklist, starred review
“[S]trong, captivating voice…. a memoir with sharp teeth and a soft underbelly, the product mirroring the author’s catharsis in creating art.”—PW
"A raw, deep dive into one young woman’s struggle for wholeness."—Kirkus
Kirkus Reviews
2023-12-16
In this zinelike memoir, a YA author shares the pain of her fraught growing-up years in the 1990s.
Kuehnert, a white woman from a middle-class family, knew from age 7 that she wanted to be a writer. She struggled with depression and by eighth grade was self-harming. In ninth grade, eager to launch her “Real Teenage Life,” she started hanging out at Scoville Park in her hometown of Oak Park, Illinois. Scoville had an outsized influence on her life: It was there that she started using alcohol and drugs and started dating a boy who raped and abused her. That brief relationship caused tremendous pain and led to disordered eating, addiction, and another unhealthy relationship. “This is the truth about rock bottom: It doesn’t exist. You will keep falling until you die unless you choose to climb.” Kuehnert’s friendships with girls were intense, complicated, and sometimes cruel. Laced throughout the book are homages to Nirvana, Courtney Love, and other grunge and punk musicians. Kuehnert’s story unfolds through essays, with the text broken up by photos, cartoons, fragments of her poetry, journal entries, and images of her zines. The book’s appeal rests in the author’s engaging and honest voice, the mentions of ’90s cultural touchstones (such as the Riot Grrrls), and the chronicling of her path to survival. The latter part feels rushed, but the bulk of the work illuminates her youthful thought processes in ways that will be helpful to many readers.
A raw, deep dive into one young woman’s struggle for wholeness. (Memoir. 14-18)
