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CHAPTER 1

PART ONE

Nesting Instinct

RESTING IN THE VERY PRESENCE OF GOD

Hope is the thing with feathers That perches in the soul, And sings the tune without the words, And never stops at all ...

— EMILY DICKINSON

Bird Fact

BIRDS ARE AMONG THE WORLD'S MOST SKILLFUL NEST BUILDERS. FEW OTHER CREATURES EXHIBIT SUCH A VARIETY OF ARCHITECTURE OR MATERIALS.

ALEXANDER WETMORE,

SONG AND GARDEN BIRDS OF NORTH AMERICA

FOXES HAVE HOLES AND BIRDS OF THE AIR HAVE NESTS, BUT THE SON OF MAN HAS NO PLACE TO LAY HIS HEAD.

— MATTHEW 8:20

When You Need a Rest

Just when we're finally ready to lay our weary heads down on our pillows at night, there comes a request for another glass of water or money for the field trip, or "Puuuuuhhhlleeeezzzz, Mom, my shirt has to be clean for school tomorrow." One midnight when my son, Ethan, was about six, he appeared at the side of my bed and awakened me with a question about sex — and how people "do it." I muttered a simplistic reply, but sleep came very slowly after that.

It seems our sleep is constantly interrupted by someone else's need! We're nudged awake by a baby's muffled cry, a stuffed animal lobbed across our pillow, or an early-morning plea for cereal.

Jesus understands our exhaustion. He didn't even have a home of his own during the draining days of his ministry. The Bible conveys event after event where Jesus was "up early in the morning" or confronted by the diseased of "the whole town." Following Jesus' example in our mothering can, indeed, be costly, and the currency is often our much-needed sleep. Unlike Jesus, we have a place to lay our heads. We just don't have any time.

Jesus not only understands our weariness, he offers a solution by contrasting his own lack of home with the fact that even birds have nests. In order to survive and thrive in these days of mothering, we need to build a home in God and time with him in it.

This is a hard task isn't it? Evidently, it's hard even for the birds. Naturalists tell us that our earth is quickly losing habitats for birds. Nesting spots are vital to the continuation of the species, so environmentalists fight to protect them.

Unfortunately, Sweet Mom, no one is going to protect and provide such a spot for us! Building a home with God is an undertaking we must choose for ourselves. A ten-minute reading of a favorite psalm while our child is napping. Quiet moments of prayer in the car on the road from daycare to work. Suds-filled bathtimes late at night where we wash away the strain by reviewing all God has done in and through us that day. Nesting spots are moments when we intentionally build refreshment into our days where we can rest in the presence of God.

Following Jesus in our everyday lives may mean that we are up before the sun and asleep long after others in our households, but it doesn't mean that we have no rest at all.

Feather Your Nest

1. Do you identify with the need to find time with God?

2. Is there some way in which you've been expecting someone else to do this for you?

3. How can you find moments with God for yourself?

Prayer

Dear God, help me understand that while you had no place to lay your head, I can always "lay my head down" in my relationship with you. In you, I can build a nest of rest for myself. Show me, today, where such a "nest moment" is and help me to rest in it when I see it.

Bird Fact

PROPAGATION IS WORK. REAL WORK. HOW A BIRD MANAGES TO CHARM A MATE, DESIGN AND CONSTRUCT A NEST, INCUBATE EGGS, FEED HATCHLINGS INCESSANTLY, AND DEFEND ITS TERRITORY, SEEMS AN EXHAUSTIVE, IF NOT IMPOSSIBLE FEAT.

MARYJO KOCH, BIRD EGG FEATHER NEST

BLESSED ARE THE POOR IN SPIRIT, FOR THEIRS IS THE KINGDOM OF HEAVEN.

— MATTHEW 5:3

Admit Your Need

A friend of mine herded four children (five to fifteen years old) about while her husband traveled for work. A long day with unending demands sapped every ounce of good intentions she'd aimed at being a "good mom" that day. In desperation, she grabbed the first harmless item she saw, and launched a Lunchable at her youngest, hollering, "Get your act together!" After dissolving in tears, she and her children laughed at the preposterous "weapon" she'd used to defend herself against her own neediness.

Such a response within ourselves surprises us at first. From our days before children (B.C.), we look ahead to imagine rocking sweet-smelling, contented newborns who coo at our approach and sleep upon command. Reality is an adjustment. Round-the-clock feedings, sacrificed personal time, long-abandoned date nights, Legos on the living room table. Where we once pictured ourselves gliding through the days of mothering, the everyday truth is that there's not quite enough of us to meet the needs under our noses. Suddenly we face a kind of poverty in the mothering department as we discover we have nothing left.

Birds, too, struggle with the feat of parenting. Some baby birds need to be fed as often as every few minutes. That's quite a job! But while baby birds are "conceived," raised, and out of the nest in a matter of weeks, human children are much more demanding in their need for long-term commitment. Especially in the early years, their dependency seems to string out for years with requests that we cut their meat, tie their shoes, and get their chewing gum out of their hair!

Perhaps no vocation as much as mothering so continually points out what we lack as humans. Are you aware of your need? More often than not, we women prefer the illusion of meeting needs to having them. Jesus directs otherwise in Matthew 5:3. What he means here is that those of us who are able to admit and embrace our inadequacies and our need for God are blessed. Until we can see that we need God, we can't let him near. Until we understand what we can't do or be, we can't grasp who he can be in our lives.

Mothering is exhausting. Yes, it is fun and fulfilling and deeply meaningful. But it is sapping. When we admit our need for a rest, we're halfway home to help. Then comes the challenge of getting in the nest to rest.

Feather Your Nest

1. What is your most typical pattern for handling a need once you recognize it? Do you deny it? wallow in it? force it on someone else?

2. How might God want to help you with the need you're facing today?

Prayer

Dear God, I am needy. Help me to see this fact as a blessing, since it can point me to you and away from my habit of self-sufficiency. Help me to embrace this need, rather than deny it — and then to give it to you to meet.

Bird Fact

RED-WINGED BLACKBIRDS BUILD NESTS AROUND CATTAIL STALKS FROM LATE APRIL TO EARLY JULY. THE FEMALE MAY USE SWAMP MILKWEED STRIPS WOUND AROUND THE STALKS TO MAKE A CRADLE TO HANG HER NEST IN.

MEL. DURING, BIRDS, NESTS AND EGGS

HE TENDS HIS FLOCK LIKE A SHEPHERD: HE GATHERS THE LAMBS IN HIS ARMS AND CARRIES THEM CLOSE TO HIS HEART; HE GENTLY LEADS THOSE THAT HAVE YOUNG.

— ISAIAH 40:11

Close to His Heart

Where can we build our nest of rest, Mom? Surely there are as many varieties of moms as there are species of birds. But we can all find a home close to God's heart.

Birds build nests in amazing places. Some birds are finicky and fret until they find just the spot. Others are "nest anywhere" birds, hunkering down into an old hat abandoned in a barn, stuffing themselves into a tin can in a field, or hiding beneath potted plant leaves on a kitchen windowsill. Those who study birds tell us that there are four basic nest locations:

• In cavities: Carved into another container, these nests are often found in tree holes, nooks of buildings, and birdhouses

• In the open: These structures are open to the sky and are typically cup shaped

• On the ground: Shallow and depressed into the ground, these are "open cups"

• Underground: These underground dwellings are actually hollowed out with tunnels and sometimes have very elaborate entrances

Using the metaphor of sheep and a shepherd, Isaiah describes how God guides those with young. Isaiah 40:11 focuses on God's calling his people out of captivity in Babylon and home to himself — out of a life separated from him and into a relationship of stability and security, close to his heart.

Close to his heart. Take your twigs, Mom. Gather your leaves and fly right up to the very heart of God. That's the best nesting spot for us, no matter what our bent as moms. When it's ten at night, and you've been up since five, and you have three more loads to wash and a stack of bills to pay, you need a nest close to God's heart. When you climb the stairs during what you thought was nap time to discover your eighteen-month-old has baptized his crib with his messy diaper, you need a nest of rest close to God's heart. When you're racing from baseball games to committee meetings to dental appointments, you need a nest where you can rest your heart close to God's.

Close to his heart. That's where he says he'll put us, we who have young. I don't know about you, but I can't think of a better place for a nest of rest.

Feather Your Nest

1. Where are you most likely to find God? In busyness or quiet? What most feeds your soul?

2. How might you adjust your nesting instinct to build a nest closer to God's heart?

Prayer

Dear God, help my heart beat more in sync with yours, that I might desire to live closer to your heart today.

Bird Fact

AFTER BATHING, THE BIRD RETIRES TO A SAFE PLACE TO PREEN. WETTING THE FEATHERS BEFORE PREENING HELPS THE SPREAD OF PREEN OIL. MOST BIRDS HAVE A PREEN GLAND AT THE BASE OF THE TAIL WHOSE CONTENTS ARE SMEARED OVER THE PLUMAGE ... THE OIL DOES SEEM TO KEEP THE FEATHERS FROM BECOMING BRITTLE, AND IT HAS ANTIBACTERIAL AND FUNGICIDAL PROPERTIES.

ROBERT BURTON, IN

TREASURY OF NORTH AMERICAN BIRDLORE

YOUR DWELLING PLACE IS SECURE, YOUR NEST IS SET IN A ROCK.

— NUMBERS 24:21

Safe Nests

A king once offered a reward to the artist in his kingdom who best depicted the concept of peace on canvas. Myriads of murals were submitted, but the one the king chose illustrated a mother bird building her nest in a rock behind a waterfall. While the bird wove her reeds into a nest, water cascaded powerfully before her. Unfazed by the roar about her, she knew she was in the right spot, and so she nested peacefully.

When I think of building a nest, my mind pictures secure sprigs nestled in a sturdy spruce. When the wind howls, I rush to add another twig. When the rains pelt, I flutter forth with more leaves to patch a leak. I view my role as mother to be one of guaranteeing safety and peace for my nest and all who dwell within. It's all up to me.

Hmmm. Could it be that safety and peace come not so much with my flitting and fluttering, but with where I choose to build my nest in the first place?

Safe nests are those built in the Rock of a God who cares about every daily moment. The Rock — God — is there when the baby spits up on our shoulder just as we were ready to finally walk out the door. The Rock is there when our husband completely misses our cue for a break. He is there when a friend brags on about her brilliant child just when we're really worried about the progress of our own. And he is there when a job falls through after round four in the interview process.

In these stormy moments when the wind buffets our nest, we can trust our safety only if we've built our nest firmly in God. What keeps us safe is not our expert weaving or our selection of the most perfect nest-building materials. Safe nests are those that are built in the Rock who is God.

Feather Your Nest

1. What do you think really keeps you safe?

2. What risk might you take today to discover the safe nest you can have in a relationship with God?

Prayer

Dear God, I am fearful of really trusting you with _________. Help me to give this need to you, knowing it is you, alone, who can really provide safety. Show me today how to build my nest in you, the Rock.

Bird Fact

THE HUMMINGBIRD WEIGHS NO MORE THAN A PENNY. IT IS ONLY ABOUT 3-1/2 INCHES LONG AND BATHES ON A FLOWER LEAF WITH DEWDROP WATER. ... [YET] IT CAN OUT- FLY ANY BIRD AND FLY IN ANY DIRECTION, EVEN BACKWARD AND UPSIDE-DOWN AT THE SAME TIME. AND HUMMINGBIRDS ARE FAST FLYERS. THEIR AVERAGE SPEED IS 30 MPH, BUT THEY HAVE BEEN CLOCKED UP TO 50 MPH.

MEL BORING, BIRDS, NESTS AND EGGS

COME TO ME, ALL YOU WHO ARE WEARY AND BURDENED, AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST.

— MATTHEW 11:28

Losing Your Stress

A few years back I sat on my then-ten-year-old's bed and leaked out my worry over whether I should undertake another book project. My schedule was packed. There wasn't enough of me to go around. While I knew my child couldn't "fix" my dilemma, I was so surrounded by it that it shadowed the very space between us.

"Eva," I pondered, "Do you think I should write another book?"

Her answer surprised me with its simplicity. "Do you want to write another book, Mom?"

The thought had never occurred to me. I was so lodged between the last commitment and the next that I hadn't taken even a second to consider what I wanted to do, only what I could still fit in my hours and minutes.

Ornithological illustrator Maryjo Koch reports that, in order to fly, birds need an extremely high metabolism. In fact, "a human being with the metabolic rate comparable to that of a hummingbird's would burst into flames." Yet this seems to be my specialty: overcommitting and facing the resulting stress. I squeeze in two more errands when I'm already late and the kids are crabby. I undertake a "feast" for company instead of a simple meal. I promise my children stay-up-late nights, forgetting I have an early commitment the next day. I say yes instead of no way too often — until I'm sizzling, risking spontaneous combustion.

Jesus speaks to moms like me (and you?) who are weary and burdened by the stresses of life, whether self-imposed or unavoidable. Come. One simple action is all that is needed. An entreaty. An invitation. Come. Sit in a nest of rest near my altar. It's what I want for you.

Whether hummingbird or swallow, a bird is gifted with a metabolism that is inhuman — so that it can fly. We are not birds, Mom. But we have been gifted with a metabolism that equips us to meet the needs around us — without bursting into flames.

Feather Your Nest

1. Where in your life are you saying yes when you should be saying no? To whom are you really saying yes, and why?

2. How do your wants match up with what God wants?

3. Do you hear Jesus' voice saying, "Come," today? How will you respond?

Prayer

Dear God, help me to consider my own giftedness when I face commitments. Show me how to sift through what I want and what you want. And when you say, "Come," make my feet quick to move.

PART TWO

Nest-building

LIVING WITH GOD IN THE DAY-TO-DAY

Despite overall similarities, each nest identifies its maker as surely as an artist's signature.

— MARYJO KOCH

Bird Fact

KILLDEERS ARE VERY SNEAKY NESTERS. THEIR NEST IS HARDLY EVEN A NEST. IT IS JUST A SHALLOW HOLLOW ON THE GROUND WITH STONES AND A LITTLE GRASS AROUND IT.

MEL BORING, BIRDS, NESTS AND EGGS

OH LORD, YOU HAVE SEARCHED ME AND YOU KNOW ME.

— PSALM 139:1

Just the Way You Are

Are you a "nest anywhere" mother? Are you happy to plunk down amidst boxes from last Christmas and build a blanket fort? Do piles of unfinished laundry sit without accusation in the next room while you focus on a school project with your oldest? Good for you!

But maybe you're not so sure. Perhaps you struggle to get situated in your "anywhere nest." Your neighbor's nests are all "just so." They talk about how they craft their nests and what next addition they're planning. Not a twig or a string is out of place in their perfect nest, and you eye your own hodgepodge mixture of feathers and straw with uncertainty. Will your "nest anywhere" inclinations harm your children? Are you somehow missing what is more important?

Many species of birds don't really care where they build their nest or what it looks like. A nest is a nest. Whether it be in a tree, under a roof beam, teardrop shaped, or hung like a sack in a high branch — it really doesn't matter. They are as dedicated to nest-building as other birds. They are just as conscientious as other mothers. They, too, lay their eggs, hatch their young, feed hungry mouths, and watch healthy fledglings fly away. Still, for them, function triumphs over aesthetics. These are known as nest anywhere birds.

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Excerpted from "Meditations for Mothers"
by .
Copyright © 1999 Elisa Morgan.
Excerpted by permission of Bondfire Books, LLC.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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