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How to Talk When Kids Won't Listen: Whining, Fighting, Meltdowns, Defiance, and Other Challenges of Childhood

How to Talk When Kids Won't Listen: Whining, Fighting, Meltdowns, Defiance, and Other Challenges of Childhood

by Joanna Faber, Julie King
How to Talk When Kids Won't Listen: Whining, Fighting, Meltdowns, Defiance, and Other Challenges of Childhood
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How to Talk When Kids Won't Listen: Whining, Fighting, Meltdowns, Defiance, and Other Challenges of Childhood

How to Talk When Kids Won't Listen: Whining, Fighting, Meltdowns, Defiance, and Other Challenges of Childhood

by Joanna Faber, Julie King

Overview

An all-new guide from the mega-bestselling How To Talk series applies trusted and effective communication strategies to the toughest challenges of raising children.

For forty years, readers have turned to Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish’s How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, the book The Boston Globe called, “the parenting Bible,” for a respectful and practical approach to communication with children. Expanding upon this work, Adele’s daughter, Joanna Faber, along with Julie King, coauthored the bestselling book, How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen. Now, Faber and King have tailored How To Talk’s tried and trusted communication strategies to some of the most challenging childhood moments.

From tantrums to technology to talking to kids about tough topics, How To Talk When Kids Won’t Listen offers concrete strategies for these and many more difficult situations.

Part One introduces readers to the How To Talk “toolbox,” with whimsical cartoons demonstrating the basic communication skills that will transform readers’ relationships with children in their lives. In Part Two, Joanna and Julie answer specific questions and share relatable stories, offering practical tools for addressing issues such as homework hassles, sibling battles, digital dilemmas, problems with punishment, and more. Readers can turn directly to any topic of interest and find the help they need, with handy “reminder pages.”

Through the combination of lively stories from real parents and teachers, humorous illustrations, and entertaining exercises, How To Talk When Kids Won’t Listen offers real solutions to struggles familiar to every parent, grandparent, teacher, and anyone else who lives or works with children.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781982134143
Publisher: Scribner
Publication date: 08/03/2021
Series: The How To Talk Series
Pages: 400
Sales rank: 216,144
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 7.90(h) x 1.20(d)

About the Author

Joanna Faber is the author, along with Julie King, of the book, How To Talk When Kids Won’t Listen, as well as the bestselling book How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen, which has been translated into 22 languages worldwide. Joanna and Julie created the companion app, HOW TO TALK: Parenting Tips in Your Pocket, as well as the app Parenting Hero. Joanna also wrote a new afterword for the thirtieth anniversary edition of the classic book, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids WIl Talk, coauthored by her mother, Adele Faber. Joanna contributed heavily to her mother’s book, How to Talk So Kids Can Learn, at Home and in School, with her frontline experience in the classroom as a bilingual special education teacher in West Harlem. Joanna lectures and conducts workshops across the US and internationally for parents, educators, and other professionals who work with children. She and her husband raised three sons in the Hudson Valley region of New York, along with dogs, cats, and an assortment of chickens. Visit her at How-to-Talk.com.

Julie King is the author, along with Joanna Faber, of the book, How To Talk When Kids Won't Listen, as well as the bestselling book, How To Talk So Little Kids Will Listen, which has been translated into 22 languages worldwide. Julie and Joanna created the companion app, HOW TO TALK: Parenting Tips in Your Pocket, as well as the app Parenting Hero. Julie has been educating and supporting parents since 1995. In addition to consulting with individual parents and couples, she speaks and leads workshops online and in-person for schools, nonprofits, businesses and parent groups across the US and internationally. Julie received her AB from Princeton University and a JD from Yale Law School. She lives with her husband in the San Francisco Bay Area where they are visited often by their her three grown children. Visit her at JulieKing.org, on Facebook @FaberandKing, or on Instagram @howtotalk.forparents.

Table of Contents

Introduction xi

Part 1 The Basic Communication Tools

Chapter 1 Dealing with Feelings-Why Can't They Just Be Happy? 3

Chapter 2 Cooperative Kids-The Impossible Dream? Why can't they just DO what we tell them to DO? 28

Chapter 2 1/2 None of This Is Working!-The Problem with Chapter Two 48

Chapter 3 The Problem with Punishment-And What to Do Instead 62

Chapter 4 Praise and Its Pitfalls-Why Do They Act So Bad When We Tell Them They're Good? 84

Part 2 Trouble in Paradise

In which we tackle tough topics requested by readers and workshop participants, and share their stories.

Section I Getting through the Day

1 Enough Already!-When Kids Are Completely Unreasonable 101

Taping Your Phone Calls 111

Outfit Impasse-Mini Shirt Saves the Day 112

2 How to Listen When Kids Won't Talk-"How Was Your Day?" Good. "What'd You Do?" Nothing. 113

Are We There Yet? Crisis in the Car 120

"Lost" Car 122

3 Homework Hassles-Is My Kid the Only One Weeping over the Worksheet? 123

Second Grade Is Too Hard! 135

4 All Wound Up and They Won't Calm Down 136

Let the Sun Shine-Cure for a Rainy Day 144

Daddy Gets Schooled-Tot Teaches Pop Problem-Solving 144

Section II Unnecessary Roughness

5 HELP! My Kids Are Fighting!-Peacekeeping on the Home Front 145

KFC versus McDonald's 163

6 HELP! My Kid Is Hitting Me!-The Art of Self-Defense Against Small Combatants 164

Unchained 169

7 Animal Etiquette-Kids and Creatures 171

Section III Anxiety, Fears, and Meltdowns

8 Fears-Dinosaurs, Spiders, and Ants … Oh My! 183

9 Temper Tantrum Hotline 192

Baby Feelings 199

Mommy Do It! 201

10 Separation Sadness 202

Section IV Bad Attitudes-Complaining, Whining, Defiance, and Other Unsociable Behaviors

11 Whining-The Sound that Drives You Insane 207

Spilled Milk: A Before and After Tale 218

Alienation of Affection 219

12 Sore Losers-The Competition Conundrum 220

The Locker Solution 229

13 Name-Calling and "Bad" Language 230

Shoe Squabble 238

Section V Conflict Resolution

14 Sharing-Mine, All Mine! 239

15 That Is NOT a Toy-When Kids Want to "Share" Your Stuff 254

Muddy Footprints in Eastern Europe 259

The Haircut 261

16 The Digital Dilemma (Part 1)-Managing Screen Time with Younger Children 262

17 The Digital Dilemma (Part 2)-Screens and Older Children 270

18 Does Punishment Prepare Kids for "Real Life"? 279

Gatekeepers 290

Section VI Bedtime & Bathroom Battles

19 Toothbrushing-The Most Terrible Torture 291

Flood Evacuation-A Bath Time Tale from India 298

Three Special Steps-A Bedtime Battle 299

Hungry Hairbrush in Slovenia 300

20 Potty Power Struggles 301

Potato Head Needs to Pee 306

Playing Your Cards Right-Four-Minute Bedtime Routine 307

Section VII Touchy Topics

21 Divorce-Helping Children Cope with Change and Loss 309

22 Protecting Kids from Problematic People 318

23 Sex-It's Only a Three-Letter Word 328

24 Too Much Hugging-When Affection Is Nonconsensual 340

Section VIII Troubleshooting

25 The Trouble with YOU! 345

26 The Trouble with BUT 349

27 The Trouble with "Say You're Sorry" 353

The Old Way 367

Final Words-Until We Meet Again 369

Reminder Index 371

Acknowledgments 374

Endnotes 375

Index 379

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