How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids

How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids

by Jancee Dunn

Narrated by Jancee Dunn

Unabridged — 7 hours, 37 minutes

How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids

How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids

by Jancee Dunn

Narrated by Jancee Dunn

Unabridged — 7 hours, 37 minutes

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Overview

A hilariously candid account of one woman's quest to bring her post-baby marriage back from the brink, with life-changing, real-world advice.

How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids tackles the last taboo subject of parenthood: the startling, white-hot fury that new (and not-so-new) mothers often have for their mates. After Jancee Dunn had her baby, she found that she was doing virtually all the household chores, even though she and her husband worked equal hours. She asked herself: How did I become the 'expert' at changing a diaper?

Many expectant parents spend weeks researching the best crib or safest car seat, but spend little if any time thinking about the titanic impact the baby will have on their marriage—and the way their marriage will affect their child.

Enter Jancee, her well-meaning but blithely unhelpful husband, their daughter, and her boisterous extended family, who show us the ways in which outmoded family patterns and traditions thwart the overworked, overloaded parents of today.

On the brink of marital Armageddon, Dunn plunges into the latest relationship research, solicits the counsel of the country's most renowned couples' and sex therapists, canvasses fellow parents, and even consults an FBI hostage negotiator on how to effectively contain an "explosive situation." Instead of having the same fights over and over, Dunn and her husband must figure out a way to resolve their larger issues and fix their family while there is still time. As they discover, adding a demanding new person to your relationship means you have to reevaluate—and rebuild—your marriage. In an exhilarating twist, they work together to save the day, happily returning to the kind of peaceful life they previously thought was the sole province of couples without children.

Part memoir, part self-help book with actionable and achievable advice, How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids is an eye-opening look at how the man who got you into this position in this first place is the ally you didn't know you had.


Editorial Reviews

Publishers Weekly

12/05/2016
Dunn (coauthor of Cyndi Lauper: A Memoir) proves herself a clever, honest, and hilarious writer who isn’t afraid to take her own marriage on a great experiment. Few writers would be courageous enough to lay bare such uncomfortable truths as her verbal abuse of her husband in response to his selfishness and how it may be threatening the normal development of their daughter. This book-length intervention tackles the whole spectrum of marital stressors, including dishwasher disagreement, financial infidelity, and weekend activity management. Dunn talks to experts in their fields, including $800-per-hour family therapist Terry Real, sociologist Michael Kimmel, and marriage researchers John and Julie Gottman. Her warm and funny prose will restore hope for moms—and dads—everywhere, as when she writes, “I’ve made myself reach for his hand when a fight is looming—even if I’m so irritated that I’d rather pick up a live rodent... the familiar contours of his hand remind me that this is the person I married, not the bogeyman.” Her book should become a baby shower classic. Agent: Alexandra Machinist, ICM. (Mar.)

From the Publisher

"Get this book for your pregnant friends, or yourself."
People

"Dunn's writing is effortless and chatty.... The book is compassionate and reasonable.... This book would make a far more practical shower gift than, say, yet another organic cotton receiving blanket. Babies grow up fast and require less stuff than we usually buy them; we adults are the ones that keep growing."
Jezebel

"Part memoir, part self-help book, Jancee Dunn's How Not To Hate Your Husband After Kids offers relationship research combined with personal anecdotes. Strategies learned from therapists, friends and even an FBI hostage negotiator help Dunn heal her marriage—and set a good example for her kid."
Real Simple

"How Not to Hate Your Husband After Kids," is equal parts romp and eye-opener, as she [Dunn] tackles relationship self-help from every angle-and through many experts and therapists. A few chapters in, one goop staffer had already photographed a dozen pages to send to her spouse."—Goop

"Jancee Dunn blends marital advice from real experts with her down to earth folksy wit in Hot Not To Hate Husband After Kids. If your husband has a better relationship with his phone than he does with his baby, you need to hit him with this book—and then ask him to read it."
Jen Mann, New York Times bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat

"I already knew I loved my husband, but Jancee Dunn's book makes me realize how much I owe it to my kids to love their father harder and more visibly. And maybe to take a big timeout the next time I want to run over his pipe collection with my jog stroller."
Faith Salie, author of Approval Junkie

"Readers familiar with Dunn's honest and humorous writing will appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at her own semi-messy family life, and those who need guidance through the rough spots can glean advice while being entertained.... A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after the birth of their child."
Kirkus

"Dunn proves herself a clever, honest, and hilarious writer who isn't afraid to take her own marriage on a great experiment. Few writers would be courageous enough to lay bare such uncomfortable truths as her verbal abuse of her husband in response to his selfishness and how it may be threatening to the normal development of their daughter.... Her book should become a baby shower classic."
Publishers Weekly

"Hilarious.... This truly fascinating text is delightful. One of the best books on the subject. Highly recommended."
Library Journal (starred review)

"Why does your once-hot-and-harmonious relationship turn tense after you bring home a baby? Jancee Dunn, a Parents contributor, tackles the issue with brutal honesty and a healthy dose of humor."
Parents

"This book is a very valuable addition to the whole huge transition to becoming parents. This book can help preserve the greatest gift you will ever give your baby: a loving relationship between the baby's parents."—John Gottman, author of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

"This part memoir, part self-help book is designed for anyone who's ever gone through the relationship shake-up that is parenting a child."—Nancy Schatz Alton, Parent Map

"a breezy page-turner, a comedy of manners (and errors), and a treat to get lost in each night"—Well Rounded NY

"Taking experiences from her own evolving marriage and combining it with the wisdom of professionals - neuroscientists, psychologists, parenting experts, and more - she has penned this book to help women navigate everything from household chores, budgets, and weekends with family to both fighting and having sex with your spouse."—Whitney C. Harris, Red Tricycle

Library Journal

★ 03/15/2017
Memoirist, essayist, and children's author Dunn (Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?) offers readers a hilarious and scientific look at how men and women differ in both their workloads and feelings about child care and home chores. With intriguing insight, she travels through the decades yet maintains a focus on today's parents and the day-to-day dealings of the division of labor, seamlessly weaving her personal narrative into relevant research. For example, an Ohio State University study shows that "By the time [a] baby reaches nine months, the women had picked up an average of 37 hours of childcare and housework per week, while the men did 24 hours, even as both parents clocked the same number of hours at work." Despite that discouraging statistic, Dunn doesn't fall into a mode of "I told you so," but rather takes the high road, illustrating how male and female brains file neatly into evolutionary patterns. Verdict This truly fascinating text is delightful. Dunn's stories add laugh-out-loud moments, such as describing Grandma's snack cupboard as "Gran's bag of petroleum and animal by-products." One of the best books on the subject. Highly recommended.

Kirkus Reviews

2017-01-18
Self-help advice and personal reflections on avoiding spousal fights while raising children.Before her daughter was born, bestselling author Dunn (Why Is My Mother Getting a Tattoo?: And Other Questions I Wish I Never Had to Ask, 2009, etc.) enjoyed steady work and a happy marriage. However, once she became a mother, there never seemed to be enough time, sleep, and especially help from her husband. Little irritations became monumental obstacles between them, which led to major battles. Consequently, they turned to expensive couples' therapy to help them regain some peace in life. In a combination of memoir and advice that can be found in most couples' therapy self-help books, Dunn provides an inside look at her own vexing issues and the solutions she and her husband used to prevent them from appearing in divorce court. They struggled with age-old battles fought between men and women—e.g., frequency of sex, who does more housework, who should get up with the child in the middle of the night, why women need to have a clean house, why men need more alone time, and many more. What Dunn learned via therapy, talks with other parents, and research was that there is no perfect solution to the many dynamics that surface once couples become parents. But by using time-tested techniques, she and her husband learned to listen, show empathy, and adjust so that their former status as a happy couple could safely and peacefully morph into a happy family. Readers familiar with Dunn's honest and humorous writing will appreciate the behind-the-scenes look at her own semi-messy family life, and those who need guidance through the rough spots can glean advice while being entertained—all without spending lots of money on couples' therapy. A highly readable account of how solid research and personal testing of self-help techniques saved a couple's marriage after the birth of their child.

Product Details

BN ID: 2940173749055
Publisher: Hachette Audio
Publication date: 03/21/2017
Edition description: Unabridged
Sales rank: 751,595
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