Table of Contents

Foreword 13

Preface 15

Introduction: Something Broke Inside Me 19

1 My Story 23

2 Breaking the Silence 37

3 Call It What It Is … Abuse 46

4 Why the Pain Outlasts the Bruises 56

5 Can a Band-Aid Heal a Broken Heart? 66

6 I Tried So Hard and Got So Little 75

7 Take an Honest Look at Yourself, Your Life, and Your Choices 87

8 Where Is God When I Hurt? 97

9 Do I Stay or Do I Go? 113

10 I'm Out, but I Still Feel Stuck 133

11 Forgiveness Frees … You! 140

12 Your Gut Is Your Guide 164

13 Community-Your Citadel of Choice 173

14 Free to Live, Really Live Again 185

15 Free to Love, Really Love Again 200

Healing Well and Living Free: A Guide for Overcomers 223

Appendix A Abuse Evaluation Form 227

Appendix B Safety Plans 233

Appendix C Flotlines and Resources 237

Appendix D Types of Abuse 242

Appendix E Cycle of Abuse 245

Appendix F Reasons You May Remain in an Abusive Relationship 247

Appendix G Reasons You May Leave an Abusive Relationship 249

Appendix H Why Abusers Don't Change 251

Appendix I Clear Signs an Abuser Has Changed 252

Appendix J Clear Signs an Abuser Has Not Changed 254

Appendix K Biblical Perspectives on Abuse and Divorce 255

Appendix L Maneuvers an Abuser Uses to Keep You from Leaving 261

Appendix M Danger Signs an Abuser May Turn Violent When You Attempt to Leave 263

Appendix N Healthy Anger 265

Appendix O Red Flags 267

Appendix P Signs of a Bad Dating Choice 269

Appendix Q Early Signs of Abuse 271

Appendix R Healthy versus Unhealthy Relationships 273

Notes 275

Acknowledgments 277