Table of Contents

Foreword Dr. Barbara Steffens 9

Foreword Dr. Stefanie Carries 11

Acknowledgments 13

Part 1 First Things First: How Betrayal Has Impacted You

1 You Are Not Alone 19

2 Heartbreaking Loss 24

3 Shell-Shocked 43

4 The Dirty Dozen 52

5 It's a Cryin' Shame 67

Part 2 Unpacking the Effects of Early Trauma

6 A House Divided 83

7 Digging into Our Roots 102

8 Dangerous Liaisons: Understanding Betrayal and Sex Addiction 118

9 How He Can Help You Heal 131

Part 3 How Betrayal Trauma Impacts Your Brain, Mind, Body, Spirit, and Sexuality

10 When a Diamond's Not a Girl's Best Friend 143

11 Your Body Guard 164

12 Quick on the Trigger 179

13 Where Is God Now? 191

14 Remember When Sex Was Safe and Skydiving Was Dangerous? 204

Part 4 Taking Steps toward Relational Safety

15 "No" Is a Complete Sentence 221

16 Gaslighting, Deception, and Blame … Oh My! 234

17 To Tell the Truth 249

Part 5 Stepping into Empowered Living

18 Making Yourself a Guilt-Free Priority 267

19 A Change of Heart 284

20 It's Never Too Late for a Rewrite 292

Resources 309

Notes 315

Selected Bibliography 327