Table of Contents

Section I Getting It Right

Introduction: Stepdad: Hero or Hostile Takeover? 13

1 Conquering Stepdad Mountain 19

2 Sex Stuff: Did You Marry a Wife (Sex Partner) or a Mother (Business Partner)? 35

3 Understanding Her Kids (Part 1): Loss 51

4 Understanding Her Kids (Part 2): Loyalty 63

Section II Getting Smart: The Stepparenting Team

5 Mom Smart (Part 1): He Can't Do It Without You 85

6 Mom Smart (Part 2): Pitfalls and Good Intentions 103

7 Getting the Socks Picked Up: Parenting 101 119

8 Meet Your Ex-Husband-in-Law: Friend or Foe? 135

9 Your Kids: What Do They Need? 153

10 Hugging Your Stepdaughter, Stepsibling Attractions, and the Awkward Issues of Stepfamily Sexuality 169

11 Keeping Special Days Special: Holidays, Vacations, and Your Stepfamily 191

12 Romancing Your Wife 205

13 Adult Stepchildren 219

14 Should We Have an "Ours" Baby? 229

15 Heroes by Choice 237

Notes 241